A few years ago I shared a list of questions I asked 3 year old Euan and had wondered whether it might become an annual reflection as his vocabulary and understanding of people and place changed with his age. We didn’t ever review it so this morning on Mother’s Day Euan gifted me 10 minutes of special time* and I chose to re-interview him as a 6 year old. It was interesting to see how some answers remained the same and some changed having understood the question differently.
I don’t think any answer will ever beat ”I have hugs in my brain” for how Euan knows I love him but I appreciate the little insights into our relationship that such questioning provides.
1. What is something Mummy always says to you? I love you
2. What makes Mummy happy? Hugs
3. What makes Mummy sad? I can’t think of anything
4. How does Mummy make you laugh? Pillow fights
5. What was Mummy like as a child? Kind
6. How old is Mummy? 43
7. How tall is Mummy? pretty tall
8. What is Mummy’s favourite thing to do? have special time with me
9. What does Mummy do when you’re not here? play with Luca
10. If Mummy becomes famous what will it be for? being the best Mum
11. What is Mummy really good at? driving the car
12. What is Mummy not very good at? playing piano
13. What is Mummy’s job? I don’t know, don’t you stay with Luca?
14. What is Mummy’s favourite food? Egg and parnsips and smoked salmon
15. What makes you proud of Mummy? being the best Mum
16. If Mummy was a cartoon character who would she be? Peter Rabbit (you like radishes too)
17. What do you and Mummy do together? have special time, make lego, read books
18. How are you and Mummy the same? we’ve both got kind hearts
19. How are you and Mummy different? You’ve got blue eyes and I’ve got brown eyes
20. How do you know Mummy loves you? I was your baby one time and you named me Euan and it was a nice name. You also hug and kiss me a lot.
21. What does Mummy like best about Daddy? He’s really really really really really really good at playing piano
22. Where is Mummy’s favourite place to go? Kingsholm Park
23. What did Mummy do before you were born? I don’t know, I didn’t know you then. I think you wished for a baby
And how did our answers compare to each others and to last time? I’m touched by the ‘best Mum’ nods and that sharing kind hearts was his first thought (a more tangible ”we have bones” was 3 year old Euan’s response). I was pleasantly surprised he couldn’t name something that makes me sad in view of my last blog post and relieved my driving is good having crashed the car with E last summer. It just shows that the effects of trauma can be short lived when expressed fully in the moment and smothered with love after. And funniest of all, his answers for the things I’m not so good at are the things his Dad excels at. So all in all I think we’re doing ok with this parenting thing!
* In case you were wondering about the references to ‘special time’ it’s a parenting tool recommended by Hand in Hand parenting where your child is in charge of how you spend your time together. To read more about the benefits of setting aside just 10 minutes in your day to re-connect with your child see this link to archived articles on the Hand in Hand website.
Footnote: I’ve written this post on Mother’s Day 2018 feeling so grateful for my children but feeling fully aware how hard this day is for others. I wrote a blog post last year that you might like if you know someone who struggles on this day and would appreciate knowing they are not forgotten as the world celebrates Mothers. Much love x