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I heard your voice in the wind today

“I heard your voice in the wind today
and I turned to see your face;
The warmth of the wind caressed me
as I stood silently in place.

I felt your touch in the sun today
as its warmth filled the sky;
I closed my eyes for your embrace
and my spirit soared high.

I saw your eyes in the window pane
as I watched the falling rain;
It seemed as each raindrop fell
it quietly said your name.

I held you close in my heart today
it made me feel complete;
You may have died…but you are not gone
you will always be a part of me.

As long as the sun shines…
the wind blows…
the rain falls…
You will live on inside of me forever
for that is all my heart knows.”

– Tim Edds

It would have been my Mum’s 72nd birthday last Sunday.  We went away for Euan’s 8th birthday so didn’t get to see my Dad.  This time last year, as we marked the first birthday without her it was so important to be together.  That’s not to say just a year on it’s less important just that the celebration of one of her beloved grandchildren, on the rare occasion of his birthday falling on the weekend, took priority.  Mum would have wanted it that way.  We invited Dad to come away with us but he already had a date with Elkie Brooks at Cheltenham Town Hall!

I love that photo of Mum with Dad, taken on Mum’s 60th birthday in 2008.  Just 5 years later, a few days before Euan’s 1st birthday, Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She died in August 2018 aged 70.  I looked through so many photos of Mum for this post but was at a loss to know how to sum up the person she was to me in a handful of snaps (I guess you can piece together some of that from previous remembering Mum posts).   There was the Mum of my childhood, the Mum of adulthood and the Mum that became sick and died.

Cancer treatment is brutal and ravages the body it is trying to save.  Mum lost her hair and started wearing a stylish short cut wig.  People told her how well she looked.  She felt mostly ok for the first few years and maintained a tight lipped privacy about what she was enduring.  Few people knew she was living with cancer.  Even for those of us that did you could easily wonder if it was all a dream or if it had gone away because she refused to let it have a negative impact on those around her.  Treatment cycle after treatment cycle takes it’s toll though.  Mum aged rapidly in the last year as the cancer cells spread around her body outrunning her liver.

Mum's 70th - nipitinthebud.co.uk

I love this photo too.  Mum’s 70th birthday in January 2018, our last celebration with her (although we didn’t know that at the time).  Mum had said she didn’t want any fuss for her 70th but over Christmas she had a change of heart.  She’d asked me what we were doing for Euan’s birthday so she could decide which day to have her party.  I smiled as she said ”You didn’t know I was having a party?  I’m sure I told you!”.  After Mum died Dad and I wondered if she’d secretly wanted to gather her family together one last time because she wasn’t sure she’d be well enough to celebrate their golden wedding anniversary in the Autumn.  As it was the day before Mum and Dad would have celebrated 50 years of marriage we were all together again; at her funeral.

This is my favourite photo of Mum with my little family.  A photo in which I’m daughter, wife and mother.  It was taken in a pub car park on my 42nd birthday.  Do you know what I love most about it?  The story of love and connection it tells as we stood waiting for a stranger to work out how to use my camera. The placing of hands that say ”I love you”, ”you’re great”, ”I’m so happy to be here  with you”.  Have you ever noticed that in pictures?  The small details it’s so easy to miss if you’re  only looking at faces.  I see it a lot in our family photos, the tilt of a head, the holding of hands.  I see it in all the photos of Mum and Dad together, always an arm draped around shoulders or the gentle touch of linked arms.  It reminds me of a verse we included on the front of our order of service on our wedding day:

”These hands – the hands that care, the hands that mold:
the hands that touch the lips, the lips that speak the words, 
the words that tell us we are whole”
– Douglas Coupland, Life after God

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2019 in pictures
a year in the life of a Wellbeing Advisor (aka Weleda Gloucester)

1 comment

  • Jean | Delightful Repast
    September 27, 2020

    What a beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s been many years since my mother died, and I still miss her every day. We shared a love of cooking and baking, reading, china and cookware, so many things. So whenever I get a new piece of kitchen equipment or china, or when I develop a new recipe, the first thing I think of is how I’d love to share it with her. Thanks for sharing your story.
    Jean | Delightful Repast recently posted…Spiced Rice Pudding – Women in the Kitchen Review and GiveawayMy Profile

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We made origami spiders! Who needs school when yo We made origami spiders! 
Who needs school when you've got Art for Kids hub 💕
.
#childhoodunplugged #gloucesterlife
Silly Sunday afternoon fun with filters 💕 #gl Silly Sunday afternoon fun with filters 💕
 
#gloucesterlife #lovemyboys💙 #photogrid
Seeking meal planning inspo. What are your favour Seeking meal planning inspo.  What are your favourite recipes to cater for all tastes and ages? 
The open book is the Bosch recipe book so really interested in vegetarian/vegan suggestions too x
We went for the muddiest walk today but it was so We went for the muddiest walk today but it was so good to get outside.  Luca did a spectacular welly boot save when the mud suckered it off but he managed to land his foot back inside it without falling over.  The boys were wet through by the time we got back to the car.  They soon warmed up at Grandad's sat in pants watching cartoons and eating crisps.  A pretty stellar day all in all!
front view: back view courtesy of big brother 😘 front view: back view courtesy of big brother 😘
Running off some steam after a few days indoors. Running off some steam after a few days indoors.  We're lucky to live in a fab city where historic sites, green spaces and waterways are all within a 20 minute walk from home.  It seemed the perfect day for getting a few pics to round off the 2020 album.  According to G the days of "normal" smiles in photos are long gone.  We live with a pair of comedians! 
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#childhoodunplugged #gloucesterlife
Starting a new Christmas tradition with a 1000 pie Starting a new Christmas tradition with a 1000 piece puzzle.  Turns out the tube makes it really tricky to look at the picture and the pieces are pretty small.  Could be here a while - see you in January!
One of the jobs I didn't get round to before Chris One of the jobs I didn't get round to before Christmas was freeing up space on my phone for photos 🙈. So rationed to just one picture you get 50% of the Moorey's wishing you a Merry Christmas.  Sending love and hugs out to all corners of the world and sharing the stories of Christmas past to remember those no longer with us.  Lots of love x
Not your usual shopping list for Christmas Eve eve Not your usual shopping list for Christmas Eve eve but loss has been such a big part of this year and the opportunity to remember loved ones together is so comforting.  We don't have candles at home since a near accident with a cat tail many moons ago so  Luca and I dashed off into the rain this morning to get some beautiful vegan plant wax candles from @idunspirit .  We'll join the circle of light remembering loved ones tomorrow at 7pm. 
.
My Mum passed away peacefully at @sueryderleckhampton 2 years ago and I was touched by the idea of a shared remembrance on Christmas Eve.  I bought a candle for my Dad and dear friend who will be missing her Mum too. 
.
Sending love and courage to all who are heavy hearted missing  loved ones this Christmas.  Especially to those who are missing a parent, sibling or child.  3 friends have lost Dad's in the last week and the pain of wondering how to make sense of life without them is the journey they now face.  Lean in to support and feel all the feels.  Huge hugs dear ones x
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(Please comment below if you're remembering someone.  The boys have asked to join me to remember Nana as well as their beloved cats Poppet and Mikey and we'd happily include a tribute to your loved ones in our thoughts)
We went to our favourite local gardens yesterday a We went to our favourite local gardens yesterday and my friend said "ooh I'm just going to pick up some of the fallen greenery for my Christmas wreath". What a good idea I thought as we've never made one (with a house opening on to the pavement i always presumed it would soon  disappear if I did make or buy one!). 
.
Using a couple of ivy twines to make my egg shaped circle I just used some multicoloured yarn to wrap around it and secure the foliage.  It looked pretty ropey until I sewed on some of the dried orange slices from my friend Lisa's home made pot pourri.  Transformed and ready to hang on the door when I work out how! 
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#gloucesterlife #christmascrafting #wreathmaking
Happy Solstice everyone. If you take a walk down Happy Solstice everyone.  If you take a walk down our street over Christmas this is the view of our downstairs window.  Isn't it gorgeous.  George's contribution to the #kingsholmadventwindow
Who recognises the woods and the hilltop view? Su Who recognises the woods and the hilltop view?  Such a gorgeous bright day yesterday for a walk, made all the more lovely for the company of a dear friend
#nofilter #lovenature
For the last few weeks kids all across Kingsholm h For the last few weeks kids all across Kingsholm have been on the hunt for painted advent pebbles.  Each Sunday parishioners from St Catharine's church have hidden them and a buzz begins about where they might be found. 
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Today after school we went up to Hillfield Gardens to find an angel for Luca.  We'd already resolved to make some ourselves if we weren't lucky enough to find one.  We now how our official @stcatsglos nativity set and our newly growing Moorey version which includes a duck and a rocket (of course!). I love how this act of community is sparking new conversations and growing friendships through rock swaps and rehides. 
.
#kingsholmrocks #communityspirit #stcatsglos #findingjesus
= New blog post = . Find out what happened when L = New blog post =
 .
Find out what happened when Luca was let loose on a Boredom Bag (link in bio) 
.
He made:
* a worry doll
* a glittery pine cone
* a flower out of scrap
* cheese twists to eat 
* a bean bag for catching games
* a moustachy disguise
* an animated chin video! 
We still have activities to work through!  For more details visit Ellie's page @boredombagsuk 
.
#gloucesterlife #boredombags #childhoodunplugged #creativity #craftingwithkids
Oh what a lovely morning I've had at Charlies Canc Oh what a lovely morning I've had at Charlies Cancer Support and Therapy Centre in Gloucester.  Jo who runs the centre is the first person outside of my family to receive an aromatherapy massage from me.  Jo  experienced the soothing effects of a wild rose facial and hand massage in the tranquil surroundings of her own treatment room! 
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I don't have a therapy space at home so Jo is kindly letting me use her treatment room when Charlie's is closed on Fridays.  If you'd like to take advantage of free hands-on wellbeing support I'm asking for a £10 donation to Charlie's in exchange for the beautiful space.  I already have my 11am slots booked out but if you're local and can be in the centre of Gloucester at 9.30am do get in touch (I'll be working my way through my volunteers list so don't worry if you've already told me you're interested). 
.
What a lovely way for Jo to start a very busy day.  Today she treated the volunteers to a pre-Christmas lunch while drawing the annual Charlie's raffle.  Over £2000 was raised and hundreds of prized gifted.  Christmas come early for some today x
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#aromatherapystudent #practicingselfcare #weledalove #loveyourskin #loveyourbody #organicskincare #naturalingredients
I came back from college on Saturday to this lovel I came back from college on Saturday to this lovely gift from Euan.  He'd spent most of the day making my "Happy Messages" advent calendar.  How lucky am I to have such a kind hearted boy 💗
Billy's favourite spot on George's lap ❤️🐾 Billy's favourite spot on George's lap ❤️🐾
Lockdown with a 4 year old - saying yes to extra t Lockdown with a 4 year old - saying yes to extra telly, treats and a blue hair cut to make up for the forced confinement.  We made the Christmas wreath from our library craft bag but all agreed it made a much better lion's mane! 
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#gloucesterlife #isolationwithkids
If Covid has shown us anything it's how gorgeously If Covid has shown us anything it's how gorgeously community minded we are in a crisis.  Hearing about acts of kindness and support during lockdown have been so heartwarming.  Being able to help others is good for the soul.
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Today we were the happy recipients of an act of kindness from @ruthlessbide .  Ruth knocked on our door after her visit to the library with a craft pack for Luca and my book reservation.  I didn't even remember I'd ordered it back in Feb when looking up Brene Brown books.  We're so lucky to have wonderful friends who happen to live nearby.
.
Libraries are now open for borrowing books and they have free craft packs for children when you take in their borrower card
I've just realised what day it is! 26 years stron I've just realised what day it is!  26 years strong George 💕
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http://nipitinthebud.co.uk/2014/11/28/this-day-2/
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