Fretting. Comparing. Fearing. Worrying. Judging. Wanting. Hoping. Wishing. Lacking. Erring. Deliberating. Procrastinating. Postponing. Trying. Working. Modelling. Learning. Grieving. Sickening. Incapacitating. Immobilising. Paralysing. Frustrating.
Trust him. Let go. Re-frame.
Invigorating. Dreaming. Bettering. Moving. Touching. Giggling. Tickling. Imagining. Creating. Making. Baking. Legoing. Cycling. Walking. Dawdling. Scooting. Dashing. Swimming. Splashing. Bathing. Reading. Singing. Dancing. Collecting. Drawing. Sticking. Cutting. Pegging. Mixing. Painting. Brushing. Helping. Wondering. Umming. Ahhing. Watching. Waiting.
Struggling. Saddening. Maddening. Gladdening. Improving. Growing. Capturing. Memorising. Building. Breaking. Sitting. Playing. Sticking. Recharging. Giving. Never ending. Loving.
Trust him. Anxiety’s a liar.
2015. I remember the day I wrote this. George was away and I was having a tough time responding patiently to Euan’s craft making meltdowns. In a moment of pause later, while he was absorbed in his drawing, I wrote out all the words I was feeling. The words that screamed “not good enough”, filled me with sadness and made me question my worth as a Mother. I took a deep breath, looked at him absorbed in his drawing, and thought of all the words I was experiencing. And slowly my load felt lighter. Trust him.