I always wanted to be a Mother and at 23 when we got married I would have expected to be parenting children in double figures by now. Life didn’t follow the path I’d so neatly mapped out in my head and thirteen Mothers’ Days came and went before I finally got to experience my first celebration of Motherhood. I am deeply thankful that I get to Mother my boys but I still hesitate to celebrate it proudly as I know the deep sadness many women (and indeed men on Father’s Day) feel for what lies just out of reach for them. My first Mother’s Day would have been my second if my first pregnancy had not ended in miscarriage so on this day I think too of the Mother’s without children and the children growing up without their Mother. This poem ”For all who aren’t” by Cheyl Lawrie speaks so beautifully of all these feelings that I have no need to write anything else!
For all who aren’t
There are few days so cruel
as mothers day
A prayer of love for those who aren’t mothers.
Today may you know all you are.
A prayer of love
for those who decided they wouldn’t
be a mother
because they dared not
for fear they would replicate a world
that tried to destroy them
A prayer of love for those who did
but not by choice
who had decision thrust upon them
and now live searching for a love
that will catch up to their truth
A prayer of love for those who couldn’t
who tried but it never worked
and for those who did,
but lost.
A prayer of love for those who never got the chance to even try
and who with all the other pain that lives inside
today bear the fear of being
someone else’s pity
A prayer of love today for those who hear the word
‘mother’
with resentment, disappointment, guilt
fear, rage, horror,
sadness, ambivalence
grief
a prayer for those who cannot love their mother
or their child
and who no longer have the strength to try
A prayer of love for those who have no day
that speaks their worth
that tells their story
that reminds them they are also gift to the world
A prayer of love for those who aren’t.
Today may you know all you are.
(Pictures: Euan’s Mother’s Day card made at school – complete with sucker in the centre of the rainbow heart ”to suck all the love in for you’. Inside he wrote ”I love you Mummy bcus you maik me my yumbox”. Flowers above from our allotment, grown in 2011 from seeds sown in memory of our first baby)
Tears. Love this ❤
This is just beautiful Nic. Hope you and the boys are well . I didn’t know you were doing this blog so hopefully now I can keep in touch with you again. Missed seeing what you are up to.
Lots of love Nicola xx
lovely to hear from you Nicola. I miss hearing your news too but Facebook was driving me round the twist! There’s 9 years worth of stories on hear but much less blogging happening post children. Trying to become more regular with it, if only as an archive of family life and recipes. Look forward to hearing what you think. Lots of love x x x
[…] 2018 feeling so grateful for my children but feeling fully aware how hard this day is for others. I wrote a blog post last year that you might like if you know someone who struggles on this day and would appreciate knowing they […]
[…] Special thoughts today for mothers without children and children without mums. […]
This is beautiful! We are all “Moms” in some way or another. We influence the lives of the children around us. No matter if we are sisters, aunts, daughters, or friends – Our influence can be powerful!
thank you Lori, I couldn’t agree more :o) I was a very Mother-y aunty long before I was blessed with my boys
Such a beautiful post and poem! Coming from someone who had fertility issues, I know how difficult it can be! Thanks for sharing! #wanderingwednesday
thank you for visiting to comment Valerie. So pleased your journey had a happy ending too